Grunch

Grunch is part-Siamese, which means she's gorgeous. She's also part-psychotic, which means you'll never quite know if she's going to nuzzle you lovingly or maim your hand in your sleep. She's one of those cats who demands affection with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, then proceeds to bite you without warning, as if it's some sort of love language. When she's not napping on your pillow (because that's where she belongs), Grunch is likely plotting her next attack, which may or may not be followed by a sudden display of affection. She's a walking paradox—fiercely vocal if ignored, and disturbingly affectionate once she's gotten your attention. If you don't wake up with a random bite mark, count yourself lucky.